Who is the problem

If the same problem follows me everywhere I go then I have to accept that there is a high likelihood that I am that problem. I can moan, complain and feel sorry for myself, buts it my responsibility to fix the problem. It's alway my responsibility, this is the hard road of Bujutsu and applies to everything in my life if I am to truly stick to principles of bujutsu.
I have to change my ingrained habits, negative emotion and reactions that happen in my mind and in my body in order to change my spirit to a true spirit of Bujutsu.
Monk Shidejian said when he was younger if you touched him or looked at him the wrong way he would fight. Now he says after many years practice you can slap his face hard or punch him and he will just smile at you. I think his spirit has changed, he has taken responsibility for this change through his own training and self discipline.