Training Focus

I trained this morning in the park in Akasaka where I am living now,  a nice park,  old trees good shade and old trees very quiet.  I trained shiko, mabu, ten chi jin, front push, twist and the breathing chi king stances.  I focused on keeping my weight under, with the front of my body full, focused in the chuo(middle) axis and stretched,  so my backside of the body can be empty, free and loose and able to move more freely,  I need to open and relax the lower back,  if I am ever going to be able to attain Jutsu and issue power cleanly.

This brings me to a difficult point to work out in my mind.  Akuzawa sensei has taught in the class many exercises and forms with which to work with in our solo training.  Some he mentioned as being very important (mabu, shiko, Shintai jiku and ten chi jin) but he says all are important.  I think the key principles of Aunkai run through all the exercise and forms, but if those principles are not yet formed clearly in the body, then which forms and exercises should be focused on.  I always worry that if I focus on one form or exercise at the exception of all others,  that my development will suffer.  Conversely if I study all the forms and exercises will I be able to explore a movement deep enough that I actually start to understand a body principle.  This is a difficult question to answer and has always been a problem for me over my last 6 years training.  I think I need to trust myself to experiment and trust that my body,instincts  and training will lead me somewhere successful.  I have to ensure that I will get Jutsu,  not hope but to ensure that I will get it!  I need to think deeply about how I can do this - no easy answer.....

Motivation

Tonight I went back to training after around a month of not training at the Aunkai. My motivation has waned recently, I met a new girl, moved apartments, work was hectic, but it seemed priorities changed. Before Aunkai was never too much trouble. One of the reasons behind this blog is to motivate me to log my thoughts on training and to get back into regular daily training. This is about me finding myself and my body, that's what Aunkai has always been about. Akuzawa Sensei inserts a a liberal dose of realism into each training session and tonight and tonight's was no differ t. I still feel so far away from any deep understanding , I never thought I would ever consider giving up, but after 6.5 years it's tough to keep going when they changes are so slow and minimal, my dreams were to have something by now, some semblance of Jutsu, but I don't have yet.
Sensei always says "life happens, things change, but we must continue on"
The most impressive and touching thing that ever happened after Aunkai was after the big earthquake in march 2011, it happened on a Friday, everybody was worried, many Japanese and foreigners fled Tokyo or Japan, the nuclear power plant appeared on the edge of a meltdown and everything seemed uncertain, scary and a little unreal. My Bjj dojo closed down, teachers went to other locations. All I wanted was some certainty and semblance of normality and routine. The next day I went to Aunkai knowing that Akuzawa sensei would be there and would be holding class, he was!
He taught the class and never mentioned the earthquake or power plant, it was a hard lesson and he brought us back to this moment through hard training, no thinking of the future, no worrying, just exhaustion. Then at the close of class, he said " what happened was very sad a lot of people died and we must give a thought to them, but it's important to carry on, carrying is most important, carrying with training and our life's" and that was it.
This was so important to me and showed what a teacher and individual he is, this deep understanding, nerve, courage and determination comes from his shugyo, his tanren. This is why I need to keep training because he inspires me to what I could become. A teacher who is always there, always consistent, never sick, just training everyday, simply and purely, not for gain just to train.....