Motivation

Tonight I went back to training after around a month of not training at the Aunkai. My motivation has waned recently, I met a new girl, moved apartments, work was hectic, but it seemed priorities changed. Before Aunkai was never too much trouble. One of the reasons behind this blog is to motivate me to log my thoughts on training and to get back into regular daily training. This is about me finding myself and my body, that's what Aunkai has always been about. Akuzawa Sensei inserts a a liberal dose of realism into each training session and tonight and tonight's was no differ t. I still feel so far away from any deep understanding , I never thought I would ever consider giving up, but after 6.5 years it's tough to keep going when they changes are so slow and minimal, my dreams were to have something by now, some semblance of Jutsu, but I don't have yet.
Sensei always says "life happens, things change, but we must continue on"
The most impressive and touching thing that ever happened after Aunkai was after the big earthquake in march 2011, it happened on a Friday, everybody was worried, many Japanese and foreigners fled Tokyo or Japan, the nuclear power plant appeared on the edge of a meltdown and everything seemed uncertain, scary and a little unreal. My Bjj dojo closed down, teachers went to other locations. All I wanted was some certainty and semblance of normality and routine. The next day I went to Aunkai knowing that Akuzawa sensei would be there and would be holding class, he was!
He taught the class and never mentioned the earthquake or power plant, it was a hard lesson and he brought us back to this moment through hard training, no thinking of the future, no worrying, just exhaustion. Then at the close of class, he said " what happened was very sad a lot of people died and we must give a thought to them, but it's important to carry on, carrying is most important, carrying with training and our life's" and that was it.
This was so important to me and showed what a teacher and individual he is, this deep understanding, nerve, courage and determination comes from his shugyo, his tanren. This is why I need to keep training because he inspires me to what I could become. A teacher who is always there, always consistent, never sick, just training everyday, simply and purely, not for gain just to train.....